Why me?
by MissChemicalReaction
Summary: ONE-SHOT Draco and Hermione become friends with benefits after he chages sides. It's just sex, but what happens when feelings get involved? What's more, how will they deal with it in the middle of the battle of Hogwarts? First Dramione fic. Bad summary.


His eyes couldn't believe what he was seeing. The place where everything had started was now destroyed. It was like a nightmare come true. The only place where he had ever felt safe was no longer safe. There was fire and smoke everywhere. It was an image of destruction, an image of fear and death.

There he was, Draco Malfoy, standing in front of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the most prestigious school for wizards and witches in the Great Britain. It was ironic how, being the safest place in the world, it looked nothing but safe. There were dead bodies lying on the floor, blood everywhere, people fighting and a lot of screams could be heard.

He was in shock. He had just arrived after he had been told the battle had already started, and the sight of Hogwarts being so… corrupted was nearly unbearable. His shock lasted few seconds, though, because he had started to hex some Death Eaters that were fighting against the Order. He still couldn't figure out how he had come to change sides. He had been raised to be a Death Eater, a Voldemort follower. He was a traitor. But then, of course, he did know. He would try to fight his feelings, to lock them and push them aside, but they were there, and he knew it.

He, who had never been loved nor had friends, was in love. The greatest of the powers and the worst of the weapons and weaknesses summed up in just one feeling. And he was scared of it. However, he wasn't ashamed of being in love. It made him somehow proud. He had always been expected to marry someone he didn't like, just for money and power. He hated the fact that his parents, well, not his parents but his father, had planned his whole life ahead. He hated the fact that he had never been given the choice of choosing his path, of choosing his life. And now, he was not only decided to follow his heart, but fight for it. He wasn't scared of rejection. Even though he hated being a Malfoy and carrying that bloody name, there was something of a Malfoy he did have, pride. Rejection was not a word for him.

He had stunned a few Death Eaters when someone he knew well locked eyes with him.

-Look! Who do we have here? I can't believe my eyes. It's Malfoy Jr, the traitor. How's your life going, eh? Having fun with Potty and Weasel? Or you're too coward for them too?-said Goyle. His former housemate and he had been pretty close, although he had never considered him a friend. He was far too stupid to be treated as such. Malfoy smirked.

-Better than yours. Stupefy!- Goyle fell to the floor, unconscious. He regretted having him close. Goyle had always been a pain in the arse, just like Crabbe. They were practically joined at the hip, and he didn't wonder why. They were identical. Same nasty faces, same passion for eating, same intellectual level. People were starting to consider them a couple, since they didn't do anything without the other.

-Hey Goyle, I heard th… You?-asked Crabbe. Perfect, thought Draco, first one and now the other. God, how he hated them.

-Look, Crabbe, I don't have time for this. If you'll excuse me, I have to go.-and without waiting for a reply, he hexed him.

He was running around the castle, trying to help as much people as he could, trying to focus on the battle. But the more he tried, the more he thought about her. His mind wondered where she was, if she had been hurt. He couldn't let her be hurt. And then, there was his father. Lucius was, obviously, fighting in the battle. His father didn't like the fact that he had changed sides. Well, saying he didn't like it was an understatement. He hated it. He loathed it. It was not only because he was his only son, but because it had made Lucius look weak and less threatening. Father, thought Draco, must be very angry. He won't waste the opportunity of killing me. He was definitely scared. There was too much to lose.

He spent the following hours fighting, getting a few bruises and cuts while doing so. No one could tell whether he was Draco Malfoy or not. He was fighting for the Order, and his looks weren't as they used to be. His hair, still white-blonde, was messy instead of groomed. He wasn't wearing the cleanest or the most exclusive robes either. He looked different. He was no longer a spoiled prat. He was no longer a child. He was a man now.

He was helping to heal a fifth year when he was stunned. He watched as he fell how the world turned black.

In his unconsciousness, he started to remember how everything started. In his sixth year, he had been chosen to kill Albus Dumbledore, the greatest of the wizards. He was too young to do it, and he was too scared. He had tortured people, but he couldn't kill. He didn't have it in him. He was being pressured to kill the Headmaster of the school and to become a Death Eater. His father wanted him to become one of them, to have his pale skin branded with the distinctive mark of hate that Voldemort's followers had. He refused. And before he started his seventh year, the battle started, leaving a lot of deaths behind, including his mother's, but not Potter's or Voldemort's.

He no longer had to stay in his home. His mother was the only thing that kept him there. Sure, she was strict and stern, but she was a loving mother, and cared for him, something his father never did. So he left his home, and chose to hide from everyone. It was OK at first, but after a few months, he decided to go back to the magic world. He felt lonely, and he was tired of hiding. He wanted to do something. He didn't want to be a coward. He wanted to stand up for himself, for his new self.

So he went to the Leaky Cauldron, disguised of course (he didn't want to be recognized) and got a room. He kept everything low key, he didn't want to be noticed, but he was really interested in finding out things about Voldemort's whereabouts and everything going on in the wizarding world. He had spent about a month there when, one day, he ran into someone who could help him. It was Granger, Potter's know-it-all muggleborn friend. Yes, she was muggleborn. He hadn't used the word mudblood for a year or so.

She, of course, didn't trust him. She thought he was trying to spy on them, and that he hadn't changed. Obviously, Potter and Weasley thought the same. It took him a while, but they ended up accepting him, after he had shared a good amount of information about Voldemort and the Death Eaters. He had been helping them since, and he had even saved Weasley from death once.

It hadn't been easy, but he had finally succeeded on helping the good side. He saved muggles from the dark-side attacks, he had helped Potter with those god-damn horcruxes and he had become somewhat close to them. They weren't friends, but when you see them 24/7, you develop some kind of feeling for them. Of course, that didn't mean that he didn't drop sarcastic comments everytime someone had a problem and that didn't stop him from bickering with Weasley or Granger. He loved to piss off Ron. He found it funny to see his face turn as red as his hair and see him trying to come up with a better insult. And then, there was Granger.

She was the only person with whom he could discuss about intellectual matters. He could discuss with her about books, history facts… anything really. He and her started to talk more often, and he discovered that she was pretty much the closest thing to a friend he had ever had. She was clever, witty and compassionate, but she was full of passion too. They became close friends, and eventually, ended in the same bed after a party-hard night.

They both freaked out the following morning, and refused to talk about it. He had seen the obvious change in her. She no longer had buck teeth or bushy hair. She was a woman now, and he was attracted to her. He denied it, and, although she said the same, she found him attractive too. They didn't want to risk their recently formed friendship, so they stayed friends. But they ended up on bed again. And again. And again. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves when they were alone, and even though they weren't in love, they couldn't avoid ending up on the same bed. They decided to become friends with benefits. He had once laughed about it. He had said that they weren't friends with benefits. He said they were friends with amazing and exhausting benefits. She had laughed and punched him on the arm. He didn't know how, but they ended up sharing bed once more.

The others suspected they had something, but didn't say anything. What she didn't know, and what he was trying to avoid was his feelings. He had started to feel for her. It wasn't love, but it was something. He would often catch himself watching her, his eyes on her and his mouth smiling. He was jealous of St Potter and his best friend. No, they weren't shagging her as he did, but still, they were really close, and he felt somehow threatened. He wanted her with him. It just felt right.

His mind was still remembering.

He was now thinking in the last days before the attack to the school. They had been prepared to fight. Potter knew it was coming closer, and everybody was upset. This was the final battle, and they were sure that lots of people would die. He was upset too. His father sought revenge on him. All Death eaters did, and so did Voldemort. But what scared him the most was the fact that Granger was going to fight too. She was a muggleborn and part of the Golden Trio. Death Eaters wanted her dead badly. He wouldn't let that happen. He'd rather die. So the night before the attack, when they were in his bedroom, he kissed her. She kissed him back, but once they separated to breathe, her eyes widened. He had never kissed her or shown her any kind of love gesture. They were friends with benefits, and they had said that no feelings would be involved. She didn't say anything for the remaining of the night.

When they woke up, he decided to talk about it and tell her everything, before the battle, just in case he didn't make it.

-Granger, I want to talk with you.

-You're already talking with me.-she said, smiling.

-Well, yes. I just wanted to tell you… This is difficult. I don't want you to misunderstand.-he was babbling.

-Draco, are you nervous?-she said, smirking. A very slytherin smirk.

-No, of course not.-she cocked an eyebrow.-Hell, yes, I am nervous. I've never done anything like this before. Alright, Granger, we've been sleeping with each other for a while now, and I know I said that there wouldn't be any feelings involved, but I think that I'm falling in love with you.

Silence was the answer he got. She was staring at him, with her brown orbs wider than ever. Her mouth was open, and her whole body was tense, rigid. She was about to say something when suddenly, Ginny burst into the room, panting.

-What's going on, Ginny?-asked Granger. Her face changed and now he could see she was worried.

-It's time. The battle has already started.-the girl answered, shivering slightly. The day they had been waiting for had come, and he wasn't ready to fight. His lovesick thoughts were clouding his mind, and he could see that she was thinking about it too.

Before any of them could think, they joined the others and left, without exchanging a word.

He slowly woke up. His whole body was feeling heavy and tired and his eyes were closed. He found it difficult to finally open his eyes. He stood up and saw nothing but destruction. There were people lying in the floor, but none of them were alive. No sound could be heard, no voices, no screams, nothing. The area was poorly lit, the only light coming from the fire. He walked between the bodies and saw familiar faces. Zabini, Goyle, the Patil sisters and Lavender Brown were among them. He searched for his wand, but didn't find it. They must have taken mine when I passed out, Malfoy thought. He took Blaise's and got out of the room. He started to look for some sign of life and after looking for someone for about ten minutes, he decided to have a look in the forest.

He heard it then. People talking. He could figure out some of the voices. Lovegood and Longbottom's, and a teacher's. He ran to them and found them chatting calmly.

-Oh, Mr Malfoy. About time. We were starting to think you were dead.-said Professor Flitwick.

-Where are the others? What happened?-he asked frantically, there were so many things he wanted to know…

-We are still looking for some people, but most of the people on our side made it. Voldemort's dead, as well as a big part of his fellow followers.

-A-and… d-do you know anything about Lucius?-Draco asked nervously. He didn't love him, and his father deserved death very much.

-No. Some claim to have seen him, but if he is here, he's not dead. - Flitwick answered.

A hand patted his shoulder and he turn around. He saw Potter standing in front of him, with a smile on his lips. He had finally killed the most dangerous wizard ever seen.

-Malfoy. You made it.-he said, looking relieved.

-So did you! Of course I made it. Did you expect otherwise? You wouldn't get rid of me even if you tried.- Malfoy joked. Harry laughed and they shared a friendly hug, one that meant that the past was forgotten.

-By the way, have you seen Hermione?-asked Potter. Draco's chest constricted a bit. She wasn't back?

-No. Hasn't she come back?-Draco asked, worry pooling over him when Potter shaked his head.

He was about to suggest something when he felt it. It was subtle, and he wasn't sure if it was real or not, but he felt as if something wasn't right. It was a hunch. He started to run towards the lake. He had a feeling that she was there, and that she wasn't alright.

-Malfoy, where are you going?-asked Potter, running after him. He didn't answer. He just kept running through the trees. His legs were tired and his calves throbbing, but he didn't stop until he reached the lake.

-Malfoy. What was that?-asked Potter, heavily panting.

-Hush. I've got a presentment. Something's not right. Do you feel it?-Malfoy asked. His eyes were looking for something out of place but found nothing.

Harry answered, but he didn't pay attention. He had heard something. A man. And apparently, Potter had heard it too, because he started to walk towards the voice.

He saw it then. Long pale hair, and dark robes. It was Lucius.

Before he had time to think about it, he found himself walking to meet him. He knew that this would happen, and he wanted it to be over. He wanted to confront his father, tell him the truth and tell him that all he felt towards him was hate. He wanted him to die. And that was the moment.

-I was wondering if you would come tonight, Draco-said Lucius with a cold voice, one that when Draco was younger would have scared him, but it didn't now. He had changed.

-Here I am. Why did you want to see me, Lucius?-Draco said his father name in a mocking tone.

-I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to show you the way, the right way. You've been miscarried, but I'll bring you back. At first I was angry, and disappointed, but now I have the chance to show you what's right and wrong again.-Draco smirked at the last sentence.

-What makes you think that? I hate to break it to you, but I'm no longer 12. I can see what's right and wrong by myself. And last but not least, I'm not going back to you. I'd rather die. You never loved me. You were my father, but you never cared for me. You tortured me for years! I hate you, and I'm ashamed of being your son. You never cared for mom either. You are a selfish, coward man who bases his life on pretending to be something he is not. You…

-CRUCIO!-Lucius hexed his son, rage clear in his eyes.

Draco fell to the floor, writhing in pain. He didn't scream, though. He didn't want to give his father that satisfaction. The pain was as the first time he had experienced it, when he was eleven. His breath was stuck on his throat and his muscles were throbbing.

Lucius stopped the curse. Why couldn't he see that Potter and his crew had brainwashed him? How dare he change sides? He was a Malfoy. He was a Slytherin. He betrayed everything he had ever believed in.

Of course, he didn't love the boy. He didn't love Narcissa, but they married anyway, and in order to keep the Malfoy lineage, she had a baby boy, the Malfoy heir. He had to make sure his heir would follow the traditions attached to his surname, it was the only thing he had to do, and he did it wrong.

-DRACO!- he turned quickly. A girl was calling for his son, a girl he knew too well. The mudblood Granger.

He turned again and looked at his son, still on the floor, breathing quickly and searching with frantic eyes for the girl. A smile spread on his lips, a smile that made Draco shiver. Draco knew then that something bad, really bad, was about to happen.

Draco lifted his face and started to look for Hermione desperately. She shouldn't go in there, not now that Lucius was there. He looked at him and reality downed on him. His father was smiling, a smile that freezed his body. Lucius knew, by the way Draco was looking for her, that there was a bond between the boys.

-I see… Not only you betray us, but you fall in love with a mudblood? Haven't I taught you better? You had all the girls that you wanted, and you were expected to marry a pureblooded girl, Pansy. How dare you treat her like your equal, when she's clearly inferior to you? She is an aberration for the magic world, unlike you, who could have the world if he asked for it. You are going to pay for what you did, and you will never forget that mudbloods are scum and that we are superior to them. You were born to fight for the dark side, not against it. You will wish you had never changed sides, and you will beg for mercy.-said Lucius, without showing any emotions. His voice was low and threatening, and Draco began to get scared.

-DRACO! Are you in there?-said Hermione, panic thick in her voice. Draco's eyes were full of worry for her. Lucius would take revenge and either he would be the target and she would defend him, or she would be the target and Draco would sacrifice himself. Either way, he was sure that this was his only chance to get rid of his father. He felt adrenaline run through his body. He made up his mind. If this was the end, he would end fighting.

-Answer.-Draco shook his head.-Draco, it wasn't a question. Crucio!-Draco found it difficult to breathe.-Answer now, will you?

-Yes, Granger. I'm here. And I'm fine.-Draco said, between breaths.

-Are you sure you are fine? You don't sound very good.-said Granger, concerned.

-I'm fine. Tired, that's all-Draco lied.-Why are you here?

-I haven't seen you since this morning. I was scared. I had to make sure you weren't dead. I want to talk to you…about what happened this morning.-she was nervous now, he could feel it.

-It's not the best time to talk now. Go and we'll talk later.-he said, hoping she would do as he said. She had always been stubborn, and always had her way.

-No. I want to talk now. I need to.-Draco flinched. She was closer now. He could see her coming to him.

-Please. Do as I say. Leave now!-he pleaded. Something he had never done before. Lucius was surprised too. Surprised and disgusted. A Malfoy man never pleaded, not even for a girl. A Malfoy man must never plea, and watching his son doing it for a mudblood made his blood boil. Hermione, on the other hand, was very worried. She could feel her heart pounding on her ears. Something didn't feel right. Draco was in danger. And she wouldn't let anything happen to him.

She run to where he was, and found him on the floor, breathing heavily. He didn't notice the other man. She crouched down and started to look for wounds on him. She only found a few cuts and bruises.

-Malfoy, what happens? What's wrong?-she asked. She saw him hesitate. His eyes weren't focused on her, but in a random point behind her. Before she could ask anything, she heard a voice. The only voice she didn't want to hear.

-Good evening, Mrs Granger. I'm glad you are still alive, when so many of us wanted to kill you.-Lucius said, smirking.

-I'm glad you are alive, when so many of us wanted to see you dead, like your Lord. You were too coward to fight for him, that you decided to hide once Harry killed him?-she decided to push the boundaries.

-So typical of you, Gryffindors. Bravery always comes first, even when your superiors could kill you with a flick of their wand. So cynical… Well, Hermione Granger. This is where your end comes. I'm going to kill you. You don't deserve your magic, and you should have never been born. You tricked my son into those filthy ideas of you and your stupid friends. But I'll get him back, and he'll be the next Dark Lord.

Draco moved, trying to protect her, but his father used some kind of spell on him that tied him to a nearby tree, immobilizing him. He started to yell at him, but there was nothing he could do. His father had his wand, and before Hermione could realize it, he had hers too. She was defenseless. He could see the panic in her eyes. But there was also a spark. The spark that he secretly loved. The one that meant that she had a plan.

Draco was struggling, but it changed nothing. He couldn't move. He was failing her. He had promised himself that nothing would ever happen to her, and he was breaking his promise. He was fighting, but he knew it was in vain.

-You will beg for mercy. You will beg me to kill you. You are going to suffer, and I'll kill you slowly, watching your life leave and hearing your heart beat slower until it stops.-Lucius said, cruelly.-And you-addressing his son-are going to watch the show. I want you to remember every single minute of it. I'm going to kill your lover, and you are going to watch her die, incapable of saving her. How will you feel knowing that she died when you know it was your fault?

Draco closed his eyes, shaking his head. He tried not to listen, but his words were repeating over and over again on his head. It was all his fault. He should have never loved her. He didn't deserve someone as pure and as good as her. He was already feeling guilty.-Open your eyes! Don't be a bloody coward again!-he screamed.

Without tearing his eyes from Draco's, he stabbed her on the stomach with a knife. He didn't know how he got it, but that didn't matter. He watched her, his brain focused only on her. She fell forward, standing on her feet and her head on Lucius shoulder. Her clothes were red, and she was panting. Her eyes were closed and filled with tears. He was going to do it again, when a spell hit him square in the chest.

He fell back, dead. Hermione fell on top of him.

Draco could see nothing else, but her. As soon as he felt his body released from the curse, he went to her, and held her in his arms. He watched as drops fell on her face, and realized he was crying. He hadn't cried since his mother's death. He brought his hand to her wound, trying to stop the bleeding, but there was too much blood. He saw someone kneeling in front of him. Weasley.

-Go. Go find someone! She's hurt. Run! Quickly!-he yelled. Ron ran through the forest as fast as he could. Draco turned his eyes to his love, when he found them closed.

-Don't, please don't! Stay with me, please!-he cried. She opened her eyes, lazily. Her eyes were clouded, and his heart wrenched.

-Draco, listen to me please.-she said with a really calm voice.-I've been fighting this feeling for months. I would still be fighting them if it hadn't been for what you said this morning. You are a great friend. And I love having you in my bed. But I've always wanted more. I want to wake up with you every day. I want to kiss you whenever you are stressed and surprise you. I want to hold your hand under a table while we have dinner with the others. I want to look through a window and see you looking at me, smiling tenderly. I want to sleep until late on our bed on a Sunday morning and wake up in your arms. I want to be on our sofa, my back against your chest, our fingers intertwined, while we watch our kids play. Draco, look at me.-he didn't know when he looked away. He was trying to hold the tears, because he was imagining those things now, and they were perfect. They were what he wanted his future to look like. He looked at her.-I love you. I'm sorry for not telling yo…-He didn't let her finish. He was kissing her, desperately. Because he was finally hers, and she was finally his. Because he had heard the words he dreamt about. Because time was running out.

She was crying now. Tears of both happiness and pain. She could feel it. She was starting to feel cold, and her eyes wouldn't focus. Her mind was foggy.

-Draco. I want you to remember this. Don't forget me-her voice cracked. He was looking at her, with his long eyelashes damp.

-Don't say that. You are going to get better. You are the strong one, remember?-he tried to lift up the mood, but it didn't work. She was breathing slower, and he could feel her skin getting cold.-Hey, I love you. Now that I got you, I'm not letting you go.-he said. He was crying heavily now, and he didn't care to hide it. His emotions were raw, and pure. His whole body was shaking, and his hands were caressing her body.

-Since when are you so sweet? Who would imagine it coming from you..-Hermione joked. She hated to see him like that. He was broken. She knew how he felt, because she was feeling the same. She had never felt like that for someone, not even Ron. Draco made her stomach flutter, and her heart stop. She felt like a rollercoaster while she was with him. She hated the whole "friends with benefits " thing, but she would take what she could get. Sex with him was amazing, but she craved more of him. She wanted more than just his body. And now that she had him, now that she knew she had his heart, she was dying. She wouldn't change a thing, though. Because now, looking at him, she felt like she was complete. And, if the situation was different, she would have been flattered because Draco was crying for her.

-I'm not sweet. I just want to be with you. I need you. Please don't go. I don't think I can live without you. After all this months, I can't live without seeing your eyes, or your smile. If you leave me, I'll just be Malfoy again. Lonely and bad Malfoy. You bring the light to my life. You make me be better. Stay with me. Don't leave, please, Hermione, stay with me.-he cried. His voice was full of pain, and was now dry, because of the crying. Where is Ron? Why aren't they coming? He asked himself.

She was smiling now. She had never heard him say her first name, and it sound so amazing on her lips. But, she wanted to hear it again.

-Draco, say it again. Say my name.-she said, with hoarse voice. Her limbs felt weak now, and she could see Draco's blood-stained shirt and hands. She could see that she had lost a lot of blood.

-Hermione Jean Granger, I love you. I love you more than my life. So please, don't leave. We have a whole life ahead.-she smiled lightly. Her eyes were closing slowly, and she felt her mind drift.

-I love you too, Draco.-the words fell from her lips as her face fell back. Draco felt her body become lighter and started to shake her.

-Granger. Come on, open your eyes! Don't die. Please, don't die. I need you here.-he went on, crying and mixing his tears with her blood. His words didn't have an answer. He wiped his eyes with his hands, blood staining his hair and face. Her blood. Something that had caused so much trouble in the past, seemed so stupid now. He felt his heart break. He had never felt such pain. He had never loved anyone before, and now he understood what "die of love" meant. He felt like if a dementor had sucked his happiness. He was gone. His eyes were red and swollen, his body tangled with hers. He was holding her like if she was a baby, lulling her back and forward.

They found him like that, on the floor with Hermione's body on his hands. All of them knew that they were in love, but that they were too afraid to say it. They saw him cry until he didn't have more tears. He wouldn' let them take her body. He was holding her like if he was holding onto his ilfe. They were crying too. They had lost her best friend, the brightest witch of their age, one of the best people in the world.

Draco could only think about her. He couldn't tear his eyes of her. He would never see her expressive brown eyes again, or watch the emotions go through them. He would never see her cheeks flush, or bite her lips. She was gone now, and all he could think was why me? Why did he have to be born on a hate-based family? Why couldn't he have been born on a normal family, where his parents loved him and he was free to love whoever he wanted? That way, his father wouldn't have killed her. He wasn't sad that he was dead. He would have celebrated it, if he hadn't killed his only love. He was shattered, but that didn't matter anymore. She wouldn't be there to help him. There would be no one there for him. He didn't trust Potter or Weasley. She was his confident, his love, his friend.

She was his everything. And when she left, she took everything with her.


End file.
